Dad confronts his 26-year-old daughter's boyfriend of 10 years because he hasn't proposed yet, accuses him of playing house: 'What’s the plan here? You guys aren’t kids anymore.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Mar 25, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

We all know that one couple who has been waiting a long time to get married. One of my best friends has been with her boyfriend since 2018, and he has not popped the question yet. People are constantly asking them, "When are they going to get engaged?" which is a reasonable question to ask, considering they've been together for seven years and have lived together for three. It's sensible for their family and friends to ask about their future, but it can get a little annoying after a while. Just because they've been together for a long time doesn't mean they need to get married because it would make other people more comfortable. If society is constantly screaming at you, "GET MARRIED! GET MARRIED! GET MARRIED!" it might influence your decision to get married in either direction. The desire should come from you, but many partnered people get a little push in the marital direction.

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  • The couple in this story is the perfect candidate for marriage. They have been happily together for ten years and are now living together. The boyfriend didn't think that marriage was a priority for him right now, but after his girlfriend's dad confronted him, he started to rethink his future plans.

  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10485800448
    via Amir mohammad jafari

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITA for not proposing to my girlfriend and just "playing house"?

    I (26M) have been with my girlfriend (26F) since we were 16. We've grown up together, went to college together, moved in together and built a life that honestly feels good. We both have solid jobs, split everything
    via u/Abject-Current-426
  • 03
    evenly, and we even got a dog last year. Neither of us wants to get married. It's not some deep anti-marriage stance or anything we're just happy the way things are
    via u/Abject-Current-426
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10485800704
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 05
    Last weekend, we went to her parents' place for dinner. Things were normal her mom was chatting with her about work, her dad and I were watching whatever game was on. After dinner, her dad asked me to help him grab something from the garage.
    via u/Abject-Current-426
  • 06
    Once we got in there, he shut the door and got serious. He said something like, "Look, you've been with my daughter for 10 years now. What's the plan here? You guys aren't kids anymore. You're just playing house at this point."
    via u/Abject-Current-426
  • 07
    I was caught completely off guard. I stammered something like, "We're happy where we are," but he shook his head and said, "It's time to step up. If you love her and I think you do make it official. Otherwise, what are you doing?"
    via u/Abject-Current-426
  • 08
    I didn't really know what to say. I respect the guy, but the whole thing rubbed me the wrong way. It felt like he was implying I'm wasting her time or stringing her along which isn't true. I love her, and I always figured we'd get married, but I wanted it to be something we decided together, when it felt right not because her dad cornered me about it.
    via u/Abject-Current-426
  • 09
    I didn't tell her about the conversation. It didn't feel worth bringing up since I didn't want to make things awkward between her and her dad. But now, the whole thing's in my head. It's like I can't stop thinking about whether I'm doing something wrong by not proposing yet even though we've never talked about a timeline.
    via u/Abject-Current-426
  • 10
    Am I the a hle for not proposing after her dad called me out? Or for not telling her about the conversation?
    via u/Abject-Current-426
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    Cheezburger Image 10485801472
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 12
    Creepy_Addict You need to talk to your GF. The only opinions that matter in a relationship are the 2 people in it.
    via u/Creepy_Addict
  • 13
    Senior-Cantaloupe-69 100% this. Dad meant well but was out of line. You and the GF need to talk. She might be feeling this way too. Or, Dad just went Dad mode on independent ops. It happens to the best of girl dads
    via u/Senior-Cantaloupe-69
  • 14
    Antique-Mouse-4209 • 21h ago • Edited 20h ago I disagree that dad was out of line. After 10 years the dude has earned the right to ask if the guy ever intends on marrying his daughter. It would be out of line if the daughter has already told her dad they don't intend to marry.
    via u/Antique-Mouse-4209
  • 15
    Edit: I'm sorry so many of you feel parents have no right to ask questions about major things in their adult kids life. The dad hasn't been harassing them or telling them what to do. He waited 10 years to ask a perfectly reasonable question in private where the guy wouldn't be embarrassed. That's called having tact not ambushing someone. If the daughter or the boyfriend had already told the parents the topic was none of their business then yes the dad needs to respect that but asking a question
    via u/Antique-Mouse-4209
  • 16
    Yikes44 Agreed. Maybe the dad has talked to his daughter and got the feeling that she's not happy. If OP hasn't ever talked to her about marriage then he might just be assuming she's as happy as he is with the current situation.
    via u/Yikes44
  • 17
    Lanky_Particular_149 unless GF has been complaining about it to her parents.
    via u/Lanky_Particular_149
  • 18
    Reasonable Pool2895 Then she needs to communicate with he BF not her dad! If she can't, they sure as h I don't need to get married!
    via u/ReasonablePool2895
  • 19
    gm1049 Shouldn't he know without being told. I mean it's been 10 years.
    via u/gm1049
  • 20
    Total_Tip_851 NTA. BUT PLEASE: Talk. To. Her. If you two have an agreement on a time lines it shouldn't matter what other people think. My husband and I have been together 10 years, we dated for 3, were engaged for 3, and then married on our 6 year anniversary, we did things at our pace. MAYBE there is a world where your gf said something off-handidly about marriage, and her dad took the papa bear approach to see what your "intentions" are with his daughter.
    via u/Total_Tip_851
  • 21
    Either way, have a conversation about what your concerns are and what she wants. She may be ready now and nervous to express that. Just create an atmosphere where you two can have an open and honest conversation about what you guys want and when you're hoping to have/do it. I do think you should tell her about the conversation with her dad, though, because it made you uncomfortable, and that's also a valid feeling.
    via u/Total_Tip_851
  • 22
    Corfiz74 That was my thought - dad heard daughter complain to mom that her life is in stasis and not progressing to the next steps, because her bf is just coasting and not hearing her biological clock chiming in and daddy decided to give him a nudge. -
    via u/Corfiz74
  • 23
    OP, talk to her! You should be on the same page regarding life goals and timelines - IS she actually waiting for you to propose? Was she expecting a proposal on your tenth anniversary? Does she want kids, and at what age?
    via u/Corfiz74
  • 24
    FilthyDaemon So....why aren't you talking about it? Because, like it or not, he's right. There are legal advantages (at least in the US) to getting married, inheritance issues, medical issues, etc., that you don't get when you are just playing house, which is what you're doing. I mean, you may not like the phrase, but legally, neither of you have any protections that marriage would give you.
    via u/FilthyDaemon
  • 25
    So dust off your feelings and actually talk to your girlfriend. Or wait until one of you has an unexpected emergency and her family is her legal next of kin and they won't let you make any decisions because they think you've been stringing her along.
    via u/FilthyDaemon

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boyfriend long term relationship family drama marriage marriage proposal proposal relationships girlfriend dad father in law in laws family daughter married Father
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